Someone from my class sat down at lunch with me today. I held a normal conversation. Success # 1.
I got the internship for the Carnage in the Corn stage combat workshop after writing what I consider a masterpiece of a letter of interest. Success # 2.
My ENG 92 teacher told me I’m too advanced for the writing class I’m taking, and not to expect too much constructive criticism that I was expecting because this was a beginning level writing class, but to come to her anytime I wanted additional criticism. She told me I was “writing circles around everyone else”. She told me I was intimidating the other students with my writing. Success # 3, Failure # 1.
I found the route to the Des Moines Civic Center and took the bus there and back ALL BY MYSELF, hence getting myself to the workshop and earning myself a free ticket to the Forbidden Broadway show. Success # 4.
My ENG 61 teacher praised my writing, told me I was intelligent, gave me an A+ for my response paper, and told me I should consider graduate school and perhaps a teaching career. Success # 5.
My tap teacher told me I’m a natural at producing tap sounds. I improved a piece, stolen from Voldemort’s tap dance, and she loved it. Success # 6. My flaps SUCK. Failure # 2.
I got a fucking awesome idea for my ENG 92 short story. Success # 7. Now all I need is to write it. Failure # 3.
I talked my psychology teacher into creating an online blog as a supplementary discussion area for my Evolutionary Psychology class. Success # 1. I actually wanted a forum, but he insisted on a Google blog. Failure # 4.
My psychology teacher thanked me for all my contributions to the class and told me I should consider joining the honors track as an outlet for all the ideas buzzing around in my brain. Success # 8.
I am by far the most active contributor to forum discussions in both my English classes – actually, the only person in my ENG 61 class who actually responds to other people’s posts – and yesterday the teacher sent out an e-mail saying how she loved the conversations “we” were having on Blackboard (which equates to me responding to other people’s posts and other people being motherfuckingly silent), and “encouraged” those who hadn’t read and responded to other people (i.e. everyone in the class except for me), to start doing so. Success # 9.
“Hello, Xiang Xiang,
Thank you so much for this note, and, more importantly, for your
valuable contributions to the class so far. Before the semester began,
one of my colleagues saw my printed class roster on my desk and
noticed your name. She told me that you were one of the smartest and
“most fascinating” students she’d encountered. You have certainly
lived up to that reputation. I particularly appreciate the fact that
you are not only a careful and thoughtful participant in class, but
also that you clearly explain and passionately defend your views.
I hope that the course continues to stimulate your thinking! I have
certainly found the discussions stimulating, myself.
Best wishes,
Megan”
SUXCESSORS NAMBAH TIEEENNNNN!!
“Hi, Xiang Xiang
The piece you sent me last week “Skull,” is more like a sketch, at
this point. It could certainly be developed into a short story,
although it has its own completeness as is, too. It gives me an
interested taste of your work–very dark and Poe-like! I was struck
by how closely the current of sexual awareness ran through the blood
and guts of it. Thematically, that could be interesting to work on if
you did decide to do more with it. I was also struck by the sheer
pleasure you seem to take in crafting the piece as deliciously gory.
Gory as it is (and it really is!) I can tell you’re having fun.
Thanks for sharing it.
CSK”
NAMBAH IIREEBENNNN!!!
“Xiang Xiang,
I am pleased that you have enjoyed the discussions. I got halfway
through my presentation, and you still think the discussion was NOT
long enough. All I can say is that these issues will keep coming
up. We are hardly done with the discussion. It goes on for a semester.”
NAMBAH CHOOWELFFFFFFF.
My English and Psych teachers love me. Success # 13. My Theatre teachers don’t… really… FAILURE NUMBER ALL.
I suck at costuming and hand sewing. Failure # All + One.
Oh yeah, and I didn’t get into any of the shows again this semester. Even after a year of insane training. FAILURE # ALL PLUS INFINITY. Oh well, at least I tried my best. Perhaps it’s because I tried my best and failed that I was not that devastated this fall.
I made this post so that whenever I feel that I suck and I begin to hate myself, I have something to cheer myself up with.
