自分が大嫌い。大嫌い大嫌い大嫌い大嫌い大嫌い。

Stop being so hateful. Yes, it’s a crapsack world, so what? Do I look like I care? Huh? Do I look like I care?

God I HATE the English language. I fucking HATE IT.

I hate my voice! I hate my pronounciation! I fucking hate everything! GAAAHHHHHHH.

is a fucking failure.

When I’m dressed up, I tend to make eye contact more often at people. Weird effect. Example of environmental determinism, eh? Hehehehehhe.

Tomorrow, Tuesday:

Make copies of Working callback songs and monologues.

1. Acting III. Prepare for coaching session, take notebook and pencil for someone to take notes for me.
2. ENG 92, and meeting with Professor Spaulding after. Talk about short story. Talk about publishing opportunities. Talk about internships for English majors.
3. Return Working script. Go to tap.
4. Costuming Lab.
5. Practice Working songs and monologues.
6. Dinner.
7. Readings.

Wednesday:
1. PSY 26 essay due.

Thursday:
1. Talk to Dr. Taylor about Physical Science AOI. Talk about adding psych as a major. Talk to Dr. Faux about Physical Science AOI.
2. Talk to Dr. Conley about AOI and registering for subjects.

Friday:
8:30 am Walk down to the Kinne Center to meet with Ashley Nichols.
10:00 am PSY 26: Human Evolutionary Psychology.
11:00 am Informational meeting for Writer Critics event. HOW 309.
12:00 pm New Methodologies for the Study of Causal Choice: Enemy Identification in a Video Game. OLIN 206
1:00 pm PSY 122: Sensation and Perception.
2:00 pm Costuming.
3:00 pm Costuming Lab.
5:00 pm Callbacks for Working
6:00 pm Dinner.
7:30 pm Go watch cabaret in studio 55. Starts at 8pm, get there early to ensure you have a seat.

Notice that there is no time for lunch. Remember to get a packed lunch or something, like a sandwich, to eat while walking from PSY 26 to informational meeting. You have ten minutes, which is more than enough.

http://www.utilitarian.net/singer/by/199704–.htm

….

Love me? Love me? Love me?

Why the male obsession with sexualized, insane females?

This phenomenon needs investigating.

Does it exist? Fuck YEAH it does.

Warrior Lovers: Erotic fiction, evolution, and female sexuality

I thought I would be the first person to look at yaoi from an evolutionary psychology perspective, but noooooo. Apparently fellow slash fan Catherine Salmon has already gone down that road, thoroughly, with the publication of her book Warrior Lovers: Erotic fiction, evolution, and female sexuality. Well it’s slash, not yaoi, but there are enough similarities to warrant celebration.

I was stunned, absolutely stunned when I found out that this book was IN DRAKE UNIVERSITY’S LIBRARY. I mean. Holy cow. I thought I was the only one who would look at slash that way (well, at least from a researcher’s point of view), but instead a book on evolutionary slash theory has been sitting right here, right opposite from where I live, for god knows how many years!

I want to do empirical research on yaoi. I can imagine myself researching yaoi for the rest of my life. Perhaps I should get in touch with Catherine Salmon and ask her if she wants more people to join her research endeavors in slash. With my extensive experience of reading and writing yaoi, and my passion for and increasing knowledge in evolutionary psychology, I am positive that by the time I graduate with my BS in Psychology, I will be more than fit enough to be a contributing member on such a scientific endeavor.

Is it pathetic though, that when I saw Richard Dawkins and Steven Pinker on the back of the book endorsing it (apparently it’s part of a series), I SQUEE-ed out loud and hugged my laptop screen in an attempt to derive comfort from/express my adoration for them? Maybe it’s because I feel unloved and unaccepted as an atheist.

My parents are still convinced that there is some form of a god, though they haven’t been religious in ages (our ancestor altar is gathering dust), but I won’t – I won’t explain to them why atheism is the only rational position on religious, because they’re going to die in a couple decades and I want them to have peace of mind when they die.

This makes me think of my aunt, my third aunt, who’s an extremely intelligent, dedicated high school teacher of chemistry and occasionally math. At the same time she’s devoutly religious. How do I reconcile that with the fact that she is one of the most intelligent adults in my immediate family? (My father’s the smartest one of course; he’s in Mensa). I’ve long accepted, on an intellectual level, that religiosity and intelligence are not necessarily incompatible, and I know of the countless famous scientists who are at the same time religious, but it’s a concept that I haven’t, before this, generalized to the people I know, on a conscious level. It’s as if they live in a separate world from the Western discourse community of atheism, evolution, and religion that I’ve been submerged in. Again, isn’t this yet another effect of cultural imperialism?

[This has been one of the more decent posts I've made lately. I am relieved that my mind still has some semblance of order.]

Violence has been steadily decreasing in humans and Steven Pinker believes that this might be because our circle of reciprocal altruism, as I like to think of it, a circle that began with our immediate family and expanded outwards to include close kin just kept expanding and expanding until the whole world – or something close to it – is included, so we send donations to starving children in Africa and so on. I believe that this expansion of the circle occurs through the media. That individuals we see depicted in the media, through human interest stories and through our identification of those peoples as individuals we connect and sympathize with, leads us to broaden our circle of altruism to include those peoples.

I can use this idea for my term paper. :D

The link between ethnocentrism and the proliferation of monotheistic religion.